The cost of champagne at The Ritz

After working in the Dallas world of advertising for the past few years, I've had the privilege of frequenting some of the swankiest hotels, bars and restaurants in Dallas. You could say I lead a pretty charmed life. This past Friday I decided to share some of my favorite super-swank spots with a friend who up until now hasn't had much of a reason to check them out.

The evening was a HILARIOUS DISASTER pretty much from start to finish. Basically, it was a typical night in the pretentious Dallas scene.

We started out getting turned down entry into an overrated bar atop a hotel due to a fashion show. After not making "the list" we headed over to a new underground lounge where our shoes were insulted (I personally see nothing wrong with short dresses and gladiator sandals, but what do I know?! I mean, I did miss the fashion show at the earlier locale...) After making it in to this new prestigious establishment (in flats, thank you very much!) we headed downstairs, then upstairs to the rooftop pool where a tray of drinks was spilled on us. An entire tray. On the behind of my white dress... DISASTER! We weren't offered comp drinks or anything, so we promptly left and had to wait about 8 minutes for an elevator in what seemed to be an un-air conditioned hallway.

Finally we made it over to my favorite Dallas hotel/bar for some good times and great drinks at the Dragonfly. After enjoying a famed white cosmo and chatting with our surrounding company, it seemed that the evening was looking up!

As we left we decided to make one last stop at The Ritz on the way home. Now I LOVE the Ritz... It's everything I usually want in a bar. Great decor, great atmosphere, great everything. Until Sir Upton came over. Mr. Upton, a gentleman (read: d-bag) in his mid-30s (at the youngest)came up and sat thigh to thigh with me. If nothing else, he was probably good for a beverage, and I felt that his immediate forced intimacy owed me that much. (I feel like you should be aware that as soon as he sat down I scooted away from him... I was having NONE OF THAT!)

After several minutes of small talk (and a couple of suggestive comments... he thought that he and I would actually happen.... HA!!!), Mr. Upton asked us what he could get us to drink. Being at the Ritz, and offered a drink by someone who could afford it, I certainly HAD to have some champagne, at least he certainly owed us that much. (To give you an idea of the extent of inebriation we're talking, Sir had forgotten what we were ordering by the time he got to the bar.) This should have been when we left, but we stayed because let's be honest, I just wanted some free champagne at the Ritz. I am that classy.

Anyhow, Mr. Upton's ridiculousness just increased and after some suggestive comments. After a hand on the leg, I politely told Mr. Upton that the evening he wanted was not happening, that he needed to "phone a friend" because he was drunk, and that his shirt was unbuttoned at the bottom and his stomach was hanging out. My friend and I left, no harm, no foul, and a sip or two of champagne the wiser.

So moral of the story (and the educational part of this blog) is that the $20 glass of champagne I had was not worth the cost of the time wasted with my new gentleman "friend". Upon leaving I realized that I was embarrassed to have tolerated this letch's behavior for as long as I did, and the lesson of "there's no such thing as a free lunch" (or drink)was yet again reinforced. Note to self: if a man sits next to you with shirt unbuttoned from the bottom, hairy stomach showing, drunk as a skunk, it is not the time to use manners. Instead, leave immediately. Otherwise, you'll regret (yet laugh hysterically) about it for days to come! Also, welcome to the Dallas Scene. Gentlemen aplenty!

Taking the plunge

I'm an act first, think later kind of girl. I'm the girl that talked her way out of failing a class I needed to graduate college because I didn't show up to said class. I'm the girl constantly putting my foot in my mouth and having to extract it. I'm the girl who loved buying her first car even though I had no idea what I was doing, which could have potentially cost me much dinero. Maybe I could be called a problem solver. Maybe I'm just the girl with crazy good luck. In reality I'm the girl that causes problems and finagles to fix them after the fact. But I guess this is what I get for being repeatedly pushed into the deep end of the pool (metaphorically, of course) and having to teach myself to swim out. When forced, I'm used to taking the plunge.

I bring all of this up not to toot my own horn, but because I'm chest deep in my own quarter-life crisis. Thank you, John Mayer... it does exist! I feel (as do several of my friends) that there's more to the world than the little bubble most of us live in, and hopefully my rationalization of jumping into the deep end of a pool despite swimming (or lack thereof) capabilities will help get the ball rolling again. The hard part is figuring out which part of our lives are lacking, and which are fulfilled. When you reach your mid 20s, you've finally reached the point you've been waiting for your whole life. The problem I've run into, though, is that I'm still waiting for my life to start. Like many of my friends, I'm stuck in a rut and need to activate life, and not the other way around. We're adults now. Life's OBVIOUSLY going to keep on going without us, and it's not going to be anything spectacular unless we plan it that way!

So with all that said, I have to ask myself, "Self... you got yourself into trouble before, and it all turned out fine." And it's true! Every single ridiculous situation I have found myself in over the last 10 years (believe me, there have been MANY) I ended up coming out on top. It's funny how things work like that. Just when you think you're about to break, you realize that you've got it. And the truth is, the same goes for every other person in the midst of their "quarter-life crisis". The difference is, up until now, we've been pushed in the deep end by parents, school, jobs, relationships... by life.

My question and challenge to myself (and anybody who reads this, quarter-life crisis or not) is: Why are you so afraid to jump in the deep end now? You've been pushed in before and you've come out just fine, so why not take a flying leap? Everybody has a lifeguard that can save them if absolutely necessary, and no decision you make will leave you treading water with no ladder (read: end) in sight. So if there's something you've been thinking about doing but have been too much of a wuss because you're ok with the path life has been dragging you around on then ignore this. But I know that I'm going to keep climbing the ladder to the top of the high dive and can't wait to do a cannonball. I expect great things out of myself and am ready for others to see them. I mean really... what's the worst that can happen??

All the single ladies, put your hand up!!!

This goes out to all the single ladies out there.... all 2 of you you read this...

You know when you're out at a bar, and the skeezy cheesball in the corner is eying you up and down and there's no chance in hell that he'll ever have a shot with you? And yet in his drunken stupor, there's no question that it's gonna happen? Well... enter Ms. Taken. The website sells forreal looking engagement rings that easily slip in and out of their carrying-case keychain. So when you give Mr. Creepazoid the finger he'll see your bling and move on! Good news is, if Mr. Right or Mr. Right-for-right-now comes along, just slip the ring back into your keychain and he'll never know the difference!

If nothing else, at least check out the HILARIOUS "Puke in my mouth" response to the also hilarious "Jizz in my pants" video!!!

The perks of being in a wreck...

Unfortunately this won't make you any smarter, but maybe it'll help next time you crash...

This morning I rear-ended a Benz... It was bad... Bad as in my car is totaled, airbags, and dangling headlights bad... Luckily, though, we were both OK other than some soreness and bruises.

After digesting it all, though, I've come to realize there are some perks to wrecking your car.

1)Get to be thanksgiving comfy w/undone button (presses on bruise and hurts like whoa)
2)Have most spectacularly blue (I'd say azure) bruise ever known to man running diagonally across your stomach!
3)Get to see what it's like to stand up and sit down like a prego woman, while keeping the torso flat/still so as not to disturb azure bruise
4)Can now say I've ridden in the back of a cop car! (By the way, they don't have real seats! Only plastic nasty chair things and no leg room)I mean, seriously..... kinda interesting!
5) Get a new car
6) Got to be the cause of flares, which are like fire works, which I LOVE

I dont know why I don't rear end someone every day, in fact!

Anyone want a free comic book??

For some reason I got the brilliant idea yesterday that I should repeat my college experience of going to see X-Men at midnight.... While seeing the 2nd X-Men movie in Denton (pronounced di'in) was surrounded by much hype (a roach crawling on my chair, the crazy Roman Rebels crew from whatever dorm I lived in, and the general excitement of something to actually do in the middle of the night other than drive through Jack-in-the-box backwards), I was worried that this experience would end up being lack-luster and fall quite short of my Di'in experience.

But I was wrong- rare, I know.... And Wolverine was SOOOOO worth tolerating the ignoramuses of Mesquite! The evening was already hyped-up thanks to a good friend, a bottle of wine, and dining across the patio from Ms. Kim Kardashian and crew. The movie was action-packed, and filled with some nice eye candy that made it worth the 3.5 hours of sleep I got last night.


Even better, though, is that the fun that surrounds the movie continues through tomorrow (Saturday 5/2) at local comic book stores. "In an effort to attract new readers, more than 2,000 comic shops are offering free comics, ranging from Wolverine and The Avengers from Marvel to a preview of DC Comics' "Blackest Night" event in Green Lantern" in the 8th annual free comic book day!

So if you love you some comics, or just want to practice your recessionista skills, check out the below site to find a free comic book near you, and then go see Wolverine- it's well worth it!

freecomicbookday.com

Stella vs. the DDP

I have a plant at the office names Stella.

So today she was looking a little dry and I wondered if she would enjoy yesterday's leftover Diet Dr. Pepper. My colleagues told me that it would be MURDER if I infused her soil with some of the good Dr. I disagree and decided to do a little research....

The effects of diet soda on potted plants:

According to wiki answers, The preservatives in diet coke actually preserve the plant and help it grow.

According to the 2006 science fair project of a Ms. Natalie M. Garcia, "the Coca-Cola plants died quicker, grew smaller, and did not grow more leaves. The plants that were given water stayed about the same height and grew a few more leaves. The plants that were given nothing ended up dying very quickly and they dried up very quickly. Also Coca-Cola causes for a foul odor to develop in the soil of the plants and for flies and ants to come and invade the plants.

As you can tell, my findings are inconclusive. If I notice a change in Stella over the next few weeks, I'll keep you posted.

Until then, I stand by wiki answers, and suspect that Stella will be completely fine and continue her happy existence on the corner of my desk. (And sometimes on the windowsill)

If you regularly cut the cheese...

... then check out this super cool slate cheese plate!

How many parties have you hosted/gone to where you needed to have the names of 5 seemingly discernible cheeses on the tip of your tongue? One of my fave blogs, The Frisky, has a solution.... A cheese plate chalkboard!



This super cute version by VivaTerra (linked in the title) comes with two little mousy knives, and is $69.

If that's a bit steep for you, though, make your own cheaper version with a slate place mat from Crate & Barrel (varying sizes available, chalk sold seperately!). It's the same look for less than half the cost!