Thursday, May 14, 2009

All the single ladies, put your hand up!!!

This goes out to all the single ladies out there.... all 2 of you you read this...

You know when you're out at a bar, and the skeezy cheesball in the corner is eying you up and down and there's no chance in hell that he'll ever have a shot with you? And yet in his drunken stupor, there's no question that it's gonna happen? Well... enter Ms. Taken. The website sells forreal looking engagement rings that easily slip in and out of their carrying-case keychain. So when you give Mr. Creepazoid the finger he'll see your bling and move on! Good news is, if Mr. Right or Mr. Right-for-right-now comes along, just slip the ring back into your keychain and he'll never know the difference!

If nothing else, at least check out the HILARIOUS "Puke in my mouth" response to the also hilarious "Jizz in my pants" video!!!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

The perks of being in a wreck...

Unfortunately this won't make you any smarter, but maybe it'll help next time you crash...

This morning I rear-ended a Benz... It was bad... Bad as in my car is totaled, airbags, and dangling headlights bad... Luckily, though, we were both OK other than some soreness and bruises.

After digesting it all, though, I've come to realize there are some perks to wrecking your car.

1)Get to be thanksgiving comfy w/undone button (presses on bruise and hurts like whoa)
2)Have most spectacularly blue (I'd say azure) bruise ever known to man running diagonally across your stomach!
3)Get to see what it's like to stand up and sit down like a prego woman, while keeping the torso flat/still so as not to disturb azure bruise
4)Can now say I've ridden in the back of a cop car! (By the way, they don't have real seats! Only plastic nasty chair things and no leg room)I mean, seriously..... kinda interesting!
5) Get a new car
6) Got to be the cause of flares, which are like fire works, which I LOVE

I dont know why I don't rear end someone every day, in fact!

Friday, May 1, 2009

Anyone want a free comic book??

For some reason I got the brilliant idea yesterday that I should repeat my college experience of going to see X-Men at midnight.... While seeing the 2nd X-Men movie in Denton (pronounced di'in) was surrounded by much hype (a roach crawling on my chair, the crazy Roman Rebels crew from whatever dorm I lived in, and the general excitement of something to actually do in the middle of the night other than drive through Jack-in-the-box backwards), I was worried that this experience would end up being lack-luster and fall quite short of my Di'in experience.

But I was wrong- rare, I know.... And Wolverine was SOOOOO worth tolerating the ignoramuses of Mesquite! The evening was already hyped-up thanks to a good friend, a bottle of wine, and dining across the patio from Ms. Kim Kardashian and crew. The movie was action-packed, and filled with some nice eye candy that made it worth the 3.5 hours of sleep I got last night.

Even better, though, is that the fun that surrounds the movie continues through tomorrow (Saturday 5/2) at local comic book stores. "In an effort to attract new readers, more than 2,000 comic shops are offering free comics, ranging from Wolverine and The Avengers from Marvel to a preview of DC Comics' "Blackest Night" event in Green Lantern" in the 8th annual free comic book day!

So if you love you some comics, or just want to practice your recessionista skills, check out the below site to find a free comic book near you, and then go see Wolverine- it's well worth it!