My theories on love

One of the best things about living with Spaghetti is that she has lots of smart, interesting things just laying around. Take, for instance, the book eat pray love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I had first spotted this book several months back on the table next to Spaghetti's chair, and thought hmmm.... I should read this before the movie comes out. So that's what I started, about a month ago. So I just picked it back up tonight while waiting for the potatoes to be done for dinner.

Within the first 5 minutes of reading, I came across this idea, which really resonates with me. Elizabeth is talking about a relationship she fell into after the demise of her marriage. She talks about how she fell into a desperate love with an actor who was playing a character from one of her short stories.

"He was playing a character I had invented, which is somewhat telling. In desperate love, it's always like this, isn't it? In desperate love, we always invent the characters of our partners, demanding that they be what we need of them, and then feeling devastated when they refuse to perform the role we created in the first place."

Maybe this idea of desperate love is a girl thing, or maybe it's a loneliness thing, but I'm finding that her summation of this desperate love and creating the partner you want, is particularly poignant at this juncture in my life. I have friends who have been in long term relationships who are now realizing that perhaps the person they're with is not the person that they've created in their heads. I mean, I know I've been there. I've fallen into this trap of a desperate love (granted, mine is one sided, but isn't most love like she's describing usually one-sided?) and have been continually disappointed when the object of my affection fails me in some silly way.

But the point to all of these musings (and yes, I'm finishing this blog post MONTHS after it began) is that Elizabeth recognizes that she creates these characters, and these fictitious people will not lead to her happiness. And I think that's worth noting. Knowing what will lead to dissatisfaction in a relationship is in itself a step closer to finding a true and lasting partnership.

Random thought of the day...

Growing up I was always told that I had a smart mouth that would eventually get me into trouble. Seriously, I can't count the number of times my dad would tell me that me smarting off was going to get me punched in the face. That a) doesn't make sense, and b) is nonproductive because the phrase merely promotes the bad behavior. Why would a smart mouth ever get me into trouble? Clearly it's smart enough to get me right back out of it. And as for the punching.... If my mouth was really smart, would it not alert me to the impending danger so I could pull a super-sweet punch-dodging move? I should think so! Also, if a child is told their mouth is smart, isn't that really like a compliment? I mean, who doesn't want to be considered smart? Just a thought...

7 Things

Across the blogosphere, fellow bloggers are letting their readers in on seven “little known” facts about their blog’s writers. My friend over at A List Baby(a most fabulous blog about all fantastic things for baby)tagged me to clue you in on myself! Here are some tidbits you may not know about me:

1) On past mission trips with my church I jumped off a couple of things. First I jumped off of a bridge (I say it was about 30 feet tall, but that was a guess from looking down) and into the river below in San Marcus. It was scary and fun and for that trip I earned the nickname Kerplop. On another mission trip I jumped from the roof of the house we were building onto a pile of dirt. It's amazing what you'll do when boys you're wanting to impress are doing it...

2) Like my friend Mary, I too adore Diet Coke. It is by far my favorite drink of all time. Especially when it burns my throat and makes my eyes water. That's just the best!

3) My favorite thing to do and daydream about is traveling. I have been to 12 countries (other than the US) on 3 continents: Belgium, Belize, Canada, England, France, Germany, Guatemala, Honduras, Luxembourg, Mexico, The Netherlands and Venezuela.

4) I have aspirations to get my Ph.D. either in Communications or Psychology.

5) I don't like creasing paper. It gives me the heeby jeebies and then I fear getting a paper cut. Especially construction paper. If it's construction paper, I won't even try- I'll use a pencil or ruler or something other than my finger to crease it.

6) Speaking of fears.... I have a fear of escalators. But only going down. I think it stems from my aunt ripping open her leg running back up the down escalator. I wasn't even there, but I'm always afraid I'll overstep and tumble to my demise.

7) I'm great at feigning confidence. If I don't know the answer to something (especially directions), I'll act like I know. Surprisingly, I'm usually correct!

OK- There's my 7 things. Now time to pass it on. The Dallas Morning Hughes, let's hear your 7 things!

Movie Reviews!!

With all the big fall movies coming out, I've seen several articles on what's creating Oscar Buzz. My list of Oscar-worthy movies to see is made (as well as my non-oscar, but I want to see anyway list)and I'm slowly making my way to the theaters to space out the contenders for favorite movie of 2009 (let's be honest... it's going to go to New Moon, what with my ridiculous 14-year-old self re-emerging with a vengeance!) But here's the two movies I've seen in the last week and what I think...


So I actually had great expectations for this movie. I LOVED The Day After Tomorrow but who can really blame me... Jake Gyllenhaal was in it... but that's neither here nor there. I liked that disaster film. It had enough extra oomph in the plotline so that when the end of the world got to be too much, or a bit cheesy, I could refocus onto the relationship side of the movie. 2012 had none of that. It was seriously ridiculous, I'm sad to say. So if you don't know what it's about (then I don't know how we're friends and you're reading this because I'm CLEARLY a movie fanatic...) let me give you a brief synopsis. It's 12/21/2012 (my 29th birthday!! EEPS!!) and the end of the world predicted by the Mayans or Incas or someone back in the day is upon us. So when the tectonic plates start shifting there's earthquakes, fire, doom and gloom. Basically, the perfect plot for some amazing stunts and graphic stuff. And I'll admit that I thought the graphics were pretty cool. At this one point, Santa Monica is sliding into the ocean, and I thought it looked really realistic. But that's about all that was realistic and awesome about the movie. The acting was ok, but it was the writing that I just couldn't get over, in addition to some cheesy camera angles that I probably wouldn't have chosen. Instead of adding to the heart of the film, some of the lines were literally laughable (Emily and I were cracking up). Also there was a particular camera angle used when someone was falling off something and it just cracked me up! This guy is plummeting to his demise, and I'm cracking up because the camera is falling with him, a close-up on his face, while his mouth is just opened in a wide "O" of shock.

I guess there's really not much more to say, other than I wish I hadn't spent my $5 on the Saturday matinee. It was amusing, yes, but probably the biggest movie disappointment, and certainly not worth all the hype for the last few months.

Luckily, my faith in film was restored last night when I went to see the long-awaited Precious.


Precious is about a 16 year old girl in Harlem in 1987 who lives with an abusive mother and is pregnant for the 2nd time by her father. This is probably one of the most intensely heartbreaking films I've ever seen. I can't even think of a movie where I felt remotely the same after watching. I guess the closest thing I can think of is how I felt at the end of Atonement. That was another film that was just heartbreaking (I honestly can't think of another word to describe it). The cinematography was more raw in this film, much less of a sweeping epic look like Atonement, or other high budget films, but it was perfect for the story. The angles and movement of the cameras just added to the rawness of the film. Even the music was an amazing fit. I would have never thought to include the upbeat music that was scattered throughout the film, but it just helps to add a depth to the main character, Precious, that was almost hard to believe existed after seeing the desolate, abusive life she had.

This brings me to the actors. I mean, wow. There has been a lot of hype and Oscar buzz already, and with good reason. Every actor was phenomenal, but I absolutely cannot get over Mo'Nique. I've seen her on talk shows and she's bubbly and personable, but in this film she was an absolute monster. And she was believable, and unrecognizable. For her to deliver the verbal and physical abuse she inflicted upon her daughter was hard to watch, and I can't fathom having to actually live it while in character. This is the first time I have ever had a physical reaction to a film. I wanted to puke in disgust a couple of times, while there were several other scenes that of course had me tearing up. The climactic ending was almost too much to watch.

The film does have a hopeful ending, which is nice after such an emotionally draining couple of hours. So far, this is my favorite film of the year.

More movies to come (if I remember!) Let me know if you've seen either of these and if you agree or disagree with me.

Dad Woulds

At lunch the other day I was sitting with one of my best friends from college and somehow we began discussing my father. I have no idea how it came about, but knowing myself, it was probably completely NOT where either of us expected the conversation to end up. Whether the conversation was planned or not, it sparked some questions that I've since been thinking about.

Just in case you guys didn't know, my father died when I was in high school. He had cancer for several years, and, to be honest, his death wasn't unexpected. What has been unexpected for me, however, are the questions that are just posing themselves eight years after his death.

Like I said, my dad died when I was in high school. It was spring of junior year, to be exact. The months following his death I experienced all the emotions that go along with losing a loved one, specifically someone you were extra close to. I was always a daddy's girl growing up, and it's just now that I'm realizing how little I actually know about my father.

Back to the conversation with my friend... In that conversation I realized that I never really knew my father. No... That's not true.... I never really knew Bob. And I think, looking back, this is probably the hardest part of losing a parent at a fairly young age. You see, I was old enough to know my dad and I still remember things about him (amazingly, because I have a TERRIBLE memory!) but I only remember him in his role as my father. Of course I knew about his personality, which I believe I inherited, but I didn't ever get to know him as a person. And I think I'm just now realizing what I'm missing out on.

I have always thought to myself, usually after making a bad joke, oh.... dad would have said that. Or after singing in the Meyerson last week, I thought, oh.... dad would be proud and would have enjoyed listening to that. These little dad woulds don't really make me sad anymore, it's just a part of life. But this last week, I've really been in tune with my "dad woulds" and have been wondering, well, would he really? And the answer is, I honestly have no idea! But I like to think the image I have of my dad is the right one.

I guess the moral of this story (because every story indeed has a moral) is that you can never understand or know a person based on one facet of their personality. As if that's a new idea that we DIDN'T learn from the idea of stereotypes... But really. You absolutely cannot put people in a box with a clean label on their personality type, how they would respond in situations, etc. Because really, at the end of the day, we have no idea! I have no idea about the multiple facets of my dad's personality I didn't get to experience as a kid, and I'm just now realizing how much I miss learning that.

Warning: going political

No....not political... humanitarian.

As an avid reader of CNN.com, I'm always up to date with the latest news. Lately, I've also started to include some NPR and talks with Spaghetti (my grandmother) to my current events knowledge. While I'm for a public healthcare option, I can understand that not everybody has the same sentiment. A public option is reminiscent of socialism, and dammit, we're a democracy. I understand. I understand that public-option opponents may be scared of helping those who refuse to help themselves. I understand that there are those concerned that a public option will increase the cost, or lower the standards of their own healthcare. Despite being a by-the-book democrat, I get these concerns.

What I can't get over, however, is that the end result of all our fears lead to people dying. People that could have easily been treated are dying because they are less fortunate than people like myself. At the end of the day, that is the result, and I can't get over that.

And the scary thing is, this mentality... the look out for yourself and your own interests, is carrying over to every aspect of our lives. I have to ask, what happened to the idea that you're only as strong as your weakest link? I honestly think it's pitiful that, for the most part, a majority of us can't look at the big picture. America is the sum of her parts, and when we don't care for all of our parts, we're just running like a squeaky, broken-down machine. We're all better than that!

This mentality that I speak of (which inspired this soap-box rant) is especially evident in morgues in Detroit and even in LA. I read an article on CNN that tells about bodies piling up in a Detroit morgue because family members can't scrape together the exorbitant amount for a funeral or for cremation. The deceased just "hang-out" in the morgue's freezer because they have nowhere else to go. Picture that a loved one has just passed away. Think of the grief and hardship you will go through, emotionally. Now imagine that you are unable to even claim your loved one and give him a proper burial. As sorrowful as the thought may be, that's many people's realities.

Let me just reiterate, that I completely understand and up until this summer have declared myself economically conservative. But where is the compassion and the humanity? How can I, with so much, NOT care for a fellow-human being who can't afford to bury his mother? It is situations like these that call out to us as humans. Not as democrats or republicans. Not as the rich or poor. Not as white, black, asian, or whatever. This story should affect us as humanitarians. Our hearts should go out to the people who cannot afford to bury their loved-ones, and as a society we need to be inclined to help those who are suffering, in whatever way possible.

The point of this rant, and yes, I'll agree that's what it is, is not to change your mind on healthcare, or any number of other political beliefs. It is, however, to remind you that you are human, and we are a community. We live together in a society that will flourish if everybody looks out for each other. To quote wise Jack from Lost.... "Live together, or die alone." I urge everybody to stop and think how they can contribute to society that has given them so much- from National Parks, to public schooling, to public hospitals. Stop and think what you're talented at, and then see what you can do to share that for the betterment of others. If we all did that, wouldn't the world be a much better place?

How much do you like you?

Speaking of books.... I'm reading (yes, still...) The Narcissism Epidimic. I got to the section today about measuring narcissism, and I thought I'd be off the charts! But lo and behold, I'm not nearly as full of myself as I thought! Take this quiz, and see how much you love you!

In each of the following pairs, choose the one that you MOST AGREE with.

1) A. The thought of ruling the world frightens the hell out of me.
B. If I ruled the world it would be a much better place.

2) A. I prefer to blen in with the crowd.
B. I like to be the center of attention.

3) A. I can live my life any way I want to.
B. People can't always live their lives in terms of what they want.

4) A. I don't particuloarly like to show off my body.
B. I like to show off my body.

5) A. I will never be satisfied until I get all that I deserve.
B. I will take my satisfactions as they come.

6) A. I am no better or no worse than most people.
B. I think I am a special person.

7) A. I find it easy to panipulate people.
B. I don't like it when I find myself manipulating people.

8) A. I try not to be a show-off.
B. I will usually show off if I get the chance.

9) A. I am much like everybody else.
B. I am an extraordinary person.

10) A. I like having authority over other people.
B. I don't mind following orders.

SCORING
Questions 3, 5, 7, and 10: Give yourself 1 point if you answered A.
Questions 1, 2, 4, 6, 8, and 9: Give yourself 1 point if you answered B.

0-3 points: You have scored low in narcissism
4-5 points: You have scored about the same in narcissism as the average college student. This is a slightly above-average score for someone older than 40.
6-7 points: You have scored above average in narcissism.
8-10 points: You have scored significantly above average in narcissism.

So.... how'd you score???

My book....

So I have this crazy goal to write a book. Seeing as how I'm an expert at nothing, this proves a bit problematic when choosing a topic. I could write about my life, but I forget most things that happen to me, so there goes that idea. I could write about my friends' lives, but I forget most of that too!

So here's my new idea. I'm going to write the 2-paragraph story starters/random poetry-esque nonsense that I pat myself on the back for. Then I'm going to sell it at Urban Outfitters. New title: Super-short Stories of Toenails and Fleas.

Entries 1 & 2:

Australia
At the beginning of the summer she stumbled upon the perfect storm for a quarter-life crisis. Now, as fall lurks just around the corner, she realizes the doomed summer was just a catalyst for adventure.

The Cannonball
She gathered her courage and without even sticking a toe in, she waved goodbye and took a flying leap. With eyes closed, arms around her knees, she hit the water with a most satisfying KERPLOP!

And all at once she found herself completely submerged. The fish had a vibrancy she never before knew, as if the water were their permanent display case. Her eyes had been opened, and she knew without a doubt that she had made the right decision. And her world was never the same again.

what i learned from the orphan

As I stood in the humid, sweltering heat of Central America, I watched my Grandmother wipe tears from the man’s face. He was hunched over, no more than 5’3” or 4” with hands gnarled from age and hard work. Despite the early hour, he was pungent with alcohol. Growing up as an orphan

He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.
Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised,
and we esteemed him not. (Isaiah 53:3)

In that moment, I could see God working through my Grandmother. As she kissed the man’s cheek “adios”, a bittersweet contentment fell over me. I did not want to expose myself to the apparent trials of this man, and yet I could not will myself to leave. I was immersed in the moment unlike any other time in my life that I can recall. Next to the cornfields in Guatemala with sweat pouring down my face and into my eyes, clothes sticking to me like a second skin, I learned what was to be the theme of my trip, and hopefully my life—be present.

Quest for the best hamburger, entry 1

Growing up I remember that my Dad was perpetually on a quest for the best hamburger ever. We would drive miles to find the unknown hole-in-the-wall with the burger that was sure to satisfy his craving for the All-American charbroiled sandwich. Some would be greasy, some would be dry, and some would be pretty dang delicious.

While I do love a good hamburger, I don't quite share the zest for finding the perfect burger that my father had. But maybe I'll continue his quest, now that I'm think about it!



Either way, quest or no quest, I did extend my hamburger experiences to include the new mushroom swiss burger from McDonald's. And my official review: don't do it! The burger (as are all fast-food burgers) was dry, with a gob of mayonnaise and a heap of mushrooms (and no lettuce or tomato, like I had hoped). The problem is, however, is that at the end of the day, it's still a McDonald's burger, and certainly not worth the $3.99 I paid. The bun IS better than the other McDonald's buns, but do you really go to Micky-D's for the bun? NOPE!

I just realized over the long weekend I actually sampled 4 different burgers, so I'll continue!

Thursday night at Harry Potter night, I had a Steak-n-Shake cheeseburger. As far as fast food places go, this might just be my favorite thus far! It was greasier than my most delicious home grilled burg, but for some reason it was completely satisfying and glorious, greasyness and all!



Finally, on Friday I went to Red Robin with my aunt, uncle, and cousins. I'm not sure if I've been to Red Robin before, but I was excited to see what kind of burgers it had to offer! My uncle and I split 2 burgers: the teriaki burger and a cajun burger. While the teriaki burg was best, neither would be worth driving far to get... But it was fun, and delicious after a long day at the winery!



So, as for these three burger places, I'd have to say Steak-N-Shake wins, hands down! BUT nothing compares to Jakes or Kellars.... Just in case you were wondering.... :D

Vouching for a murderer? Pack a squirrel!

I'm going to take a moment and publicize my love for squirrels. I like them. I think they're cute, and have the best flouncy tails, and I like watching them run around. They're funny when they fight with each other over nuts. They're smart enough to know that they can eat birdseed and not have to scavenge for food. They're 1/2 my favorite animated character ever... SKRAT!! They're like puppies, except smaller and related to rodents... Heck, I even used to walk up to the neighborhood pet store as a kid to see and blow on the flying squirrel that was waiting to be adopted (flying squirrels, by the way, chirp and gurgle and squeak if you blow on them- it's cute!). But...

I WOULD NEVER KEEP ONE IN MY CLEAVAGE!!!!



Apparently the lady in the video was being questioned by police when out pops a squirrel from her bosom. I mean, I've got nothing. Just watch :)

The cost of champagne at The Ritz

After working in the Dallas world of advertising for the past few years, I've had the privilege of frequenting some of the swankiest hotels, bars and restaurants in Dallas. You could say I lead a pretty charmed life. This past Friday I decided to share some of my favorite super-swank spots with a friend who up until now hasn't had much of a reason to check them out.

The evening was a HILARIOUS DISASTER pretty much from start to finish. Basically, it was a typical night in the pretentious Dallas scene.

We started out getting turned down entry into an overrated bar atop a hotel due to a fashion show. After not making "the list" we headed over to a new underground lounge where our shoes were insulted (I personally see nothing wrong with short dresses and gladiator sandals, but what do I know?! I mean, I did miss the fashion show at the earlier locale...) After making it in to this new prestigious establishment (in flats, thank you very much!) we headed downstairs, then upstairs to the rooftop pool where a tray of drinks was spilled on us. An entire tray. On the behind of my white dress... DISASTER! We weren't offered comp drinks or anything, so we promptly left and had to wait about 8 minutes for an elevator in what seemed to be an un-air conditioned hallway.

Finally we made it over to my favorite Dallas hotel/bar for some good times and great drinks at the Dragonfly. After enjoying a famed white cosmo and chatting with our surrounding company, it seemed that the evening was looking up!

As we left we decided to make one last stop at The Ritz on the way home. Now I LOVE the Ritz... It's everything I usually want in a bar. Great decor, great atmosphere, great everything. Until Sir Upton came over. Mr. Upton, a gentleman (read: d-bag) in his mid-30s (at the youngest)came up and sat thigh to thigh with me. If nothing else, he was probably good for a beverage, and I felt that his immediate forced intimacy owed me that much. (I feel like you should be aware that as soon as he sat down I scooted away from him... I was having NONE OF THAT!)

After several minutes of small talk (and a couple of suggestive comments... he thought that he and I would actually happen.... HA!!!), Mr. Upton asked us what he could get us to drink. Being at the Ritz, and offered a drink by someone who could afford it, I certainly HAD to have some champagne, at least he certainly owed us that much. (To give you an idea of the extent of inebriation we're talking, Sir had forgotten what we were ordering by the time he got to the bar.) This should have been when we left, but we stayed because let's be honest, I just wanted some free champagne at the Ritz. I am that classy.

Anyhow, Mr. Upton's ridiculousness just increased and after some suggestive comments. After a hand on the leg, I politely told Mr. Upton that the evening he wanted was not happening, that he needed to "phone a friend" because he was drunk, and that his shirt was unbuttoned at the bottom and his stomach was hanging out. My friend and I left, no harm, no foul, and a sip or two of champagne the wiser.

So moral of the story (and the educational part of this blog) is that the $20 glass of champagne I had was not worth the cost of the time wasted with my new gentleman "friend". Upon leaving I realized that I was embarrassed to have tolerated this letch's behavior for as long as I did, and the lesson of "there's no such thing as a free lunch" (or drink)was yet again reinforced. Note to self: if a man sits next to you with shirt unbuttoned from the bottom, hairy stomach showing, drunk as a skunk, it is not the time to use manners. Instead, leave immediately. Otherwise, you'll regret (yet laugh hysterically) about it for days to come! Also, welcome to the Dallas Scene. Gentlemen aplenty!

Taking the plunge

I'm an act first, think later kind of girl. I'm the girl that talked her way out of failing a class I needed to graduate college because I didn't show up to said class. I'm the girl constantly putting my foot in my mouth and having to extract it. I'm the girl who loved buying her first car even though I had no idea what I was doing, which could have potentially cost me much dinero. Maybe I could be called a problem solver. Maybe I'm just the girl with crazy good luck. In reality I'm the girl that causes problems and finagles to fix them after the fact. But I guess this is what I get for being repeatedly pushed into the deep end of the pool (metaphorically, of course) and having to teach myself to swim out. When forced, I'm used to taking the plunge.

I bring all of this up not to toot my own horn, but because I'm chest deep in my own quarter-life crisis. Thank you, John Mayer... it does exist! I feel (as do several of my friends) that there's more to the world than the little bubble most of us live in, and hopefully my rationalization of jumping into the deep end of a pool despite swimming (or lack thereof) capabilities will help get the ball rolling again. The hard part is figuring out which part of our lives are lacking, and which are fulfilled. When you reach your mid 20s, you've finally reached the point you've been waiting for your whole life. The problem I've run into, though, is that I'm still waiting for my life to start. Like many of my friends, I'm stuck in a rut and need to activate life, and not the other way around. We're adults now. Life's OBVIOUSLY going to keep on going without us, and it's not going to be anything spectacular unless we plan it that way!

So with all that said, I have to ask myself, "Self... you got yourself into trouble before, and it all turned out fine." And it's true! Every single ridiculous situation I have found myself in over the last 10 years (believe me, there have been MANY) I ended up coming out on top. It's funny how things work like that. Just when you think you're about to break, you realize that you've got it. And the truth is, the same goes for every other person in the midst of their "quarter-life crisis". The difference is, up until now, we've been pushed in the deep end by parents, school, jobs, relationships... by life.

My question and challenge to myself (and anybody who reads this, quarter-life crisis or not) is: Why are you so afraid to jump in the deep end now? You've been pushed in before and you've come out just fine, so why not take a flying leap? Everybody has a lifeguard that can save them if absolutely necessary, and no decision you make will leave you treading water with no ladder (read: end) in sight. So if there's something you've been thinking about doing but have been too much of a wuss because you're ok with the path life has been dragging you around on then ignore this. But I know that I'm going to keep climbing the ladder to the top of the high dive and can't wait to do a cannonball. I expect great things out of myself and am ready for others to see them. I mean really... what's the worst that can happen??

All the single ladies, put your hand up!!!

This goes out to all the single ladies out there.... all 2 of you you read this...

You know when you're out at a bar, and the skeezy cheesball in the corner is eying you up and down and there's no chance in hell that he'll ever have a shot with you? And yet in his drunken stupor, there's no question that it's gonna happen? Well... enter Ms. Taken. The website sells forreal looking engagement rings that easily slip in and out of their carrying-case keychain. So when you give Mr. Creepazoid the finger he'll see your bling and move on! Good news is, if Mr. Right or Mr. Right-for-right-now comes along, just slip the ring back into your keychain and he'll never know the difference!

If nothing else, at least check out the HILARIOUS "Puke in my mouth" response to the also hilarious "Jizz in my pants" video!!!

The perks of being in a wreck...

Unfortunately this won't make you any smarter, but maybe it'll help next time you crash...

This morning I rear-ended a Benz... It was bad... Bad as in my car is totaled, airbags, and dangling headlights bad... Luckily, though, we were both OK other than some soreness and bruises.

After digesting it all, though, I've come to realize there are some perks to wrecking your car.

1)Get to be thanksgiving comfy w/undone button (presses on bruise and hurts like whoa)
2)Have most spectacularly blue (I'd say azure) bruise ever known to man running diagonally across your stomach!
3)Get to see what it's like to stand up and sit down like a prego woman, while keeping the torso flat/still so as not to disturb azure bruise
4)Can now say I've ridden in the back of a cop car! (By the way, they don't have real seats! Only plastic nasty chair things and no leg room)I mean, seriously..... kinda interesting!
5) Get a new car
6) Got to be the cause of flares, which are like fire works, which I LOVE

I dont know why I don't rear end someone every day, in fact!

Anyone want a free comic book??

For some reason I got the brilliant idea yesterday that I should repeat my college experience of going to see X-Men at midnight.... While seeing the 2nd X-Men movie in Denton (pronounced di'in) was surrounded by much hype (a roach crawling on my chair, the crazy Roman Rebels crew from whatever dorm I lived in, and the general excitement of something to actually do in the middle of the night other than drive through Jack-in-the-box backwards), I was worried that this experience would end up being lack-luster and fall quite short of my Di'in experience.

But I was wrong- rare, I know.... And Wolverine was SOOOOO worth tolerating the ignoramuses of Mesquite! The evening was already hyped-up thanks to a good friend, a bottle of wine, and dining across the patio from Ms. Kim Kardashian and crew. The movie was action-packed, and filled with some nice eye candy that made it worth the 3.5 hours of sleep I got last night.


Even better, though, is that the fun that surrounds the movie continues through tomorrow (Saturday 5/2) at local comic book stores. "In an effort to attract new readers, more than 2,000 comic shops are offering free comics, ranging from Wolverine and The Avengers from Marvel to a preview of DC Comics' "Blackest Night" event in Green Lantern" in the 8th annual free comic book day!

So if you love you some comics, or just want to practice your recessionista skills, check out the below site to find a free comic book near you, and then go see Wolverine- it's well worth it!

freecomicbookday.com

Stella vs. the DDP

I have a plant at the office names Stella.

So today she was looking a little dry and I wondered if she would enjoy yesterday's leftover Diet Dr. Pepper. My colleagues told me that it would be MURDER if I infused her soil with some of the good Dr. I disagree and decided to do a little research....

The effects of diet soda on potted plants:

According to wiki answers, The preservatives in diet coke actually preserve the plant and help it grow.

According to the 2006 science fair project of a Ms. Natalie M. Garcia, "the Coca-Cola plants died quicker, grew smaller, and did not grow more leaves. The plants that were given water stayed about the same height and grew a few more leaves. The plants that were given nothing ended up dying very quickly and they dried up very quickly. Also Coca-Cola causes for a foul odor to develop in the soil of the plants and for flies and ants to come and invade the plants.

As you can tell, my findings are inconclusive. If I notice a change in Stella over the next few weeks, I'll keep you posted.

Until then, I stand by wiki answers, and suspect that Stella will be completely fine and continue her happy existence on the corner of my desk. (And sometimes on the windowsill)

If you regularly cut the cheese...

... then check out this super cool slate cheese plate!

How many parties have you hosted/gone to where you needed to have the names of 5 seemingly discernible cheeses on the tip of your tongue? One of my fave blogs, The Frisky, has a solution.... A cheese plate chalkboard!



This super cute version by VivaTerra (linked in the title) comes with two little mousy knives, and is $69.

If that's a bit steep for you, though, make your own cheaper version with a slate place mat from Crate & Barrel (varying sizes available, chalk sold seperately!). It's the same look for less than half the cost!

Questions I've had today, and their answers

Question: Why does only one cranberry float to the top of my most delictable white Zaza cosmo?
Answer: A slit cut in one side of the cranberry causes the cranberry to float with the slit side on top.

Question: What do the following organs do? Organs in question: appendix, gallbladder, spleen.(Obviously it's not important if they can all be removed..."
Answer: Appendix: "the appendix is traditionally thought to have no function in the human body. However, new studies propose that the appendix may produce and protect bacteria that are beneficial in the function of the human colon"
Gallbladder: "The gallbladder stores bile, which is released when food containing fat enters the digestive tract, stimulating the secretion" of digestive juice
Spleen: destruction of redundant red blood cells, and holds a reservoir of blood

Question: What does Nerf stand for?
Answer: Non-expanding recreational foam

Question: What is Port wine?
Answer: wine + brandy

Hope you learned something new.... I surely did!

Poof... be gone, odor!

This is going to be a little on the....earthy side, but whatev!

Have you ever had those days when your stomach's just not agreeing with you and you're suffering from some mighty pooty booty (read: the runs)?? Well, you certainly can't stay home from work just because you partied a little too hard the night before.

Well, now there's a solution to your public bathroom pooty-booty dilemmas.



"Poof it! Just a few drops of this liquid deodorizer in the toilet water and a translucent seal traps your odors in the water, releasing a refreshing scent of Japanese Mint to fill the air! Created for the sophisticated and bathroom conscious, Poof is packaged in an appealing yet discreet bottle that easily slips into your purse, pocket, or the palm of your hand.

One drop of Poof will forever change the way you do your business!"

Yeah, you read it! Straight from the Poof Drops website. And I ask, who WOULDN'T benefit from a translucent odor seal?

Title links to poofdrops website.

And their target is...

So there have been 2 commercials I've seen in the last 2 days that I can't get enough of. THe problem is, I have no idea who they're targeting?

The first is the ridiculous sponge bob Burger King commercial for "I like square butts"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5X4TSbGreA
Now I don't remember who does BK's advertising, but they're either genius or insane... I haven't decided which! Either way, WHO IN THE WORLD ARE THEY TRYING TO REACH?!

The second commercial literally cracks me up. IN fact, I was on the phone with my BFF Melody today and was singing it to her and couldn't make it through this one line without breaking into laughter like a giddy 5-year-old! I mean, when someone sings about "herding cows the size of schnauzers but they're cattle" what else can you really do?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ut0WDb-xzks

Hope you enjoy the genius of the down economy... apparantly fast-food advertisers are getting bold in these tough times!

Get ya some free culture!

For those of you who may not know, Dallas has some great cultural events.... I mean, coming from the city with the world-famous (well, regional famous...) Greenville St. Paddy's Day Parade, what could you expect?

The Dallas Museum of Art (one of my fave architectural buildings here in the Big D) hosts Thursday Night Live at the DMA. There's live music, food, drinks, and a chance to go see some FANTASTIC art (be sure to check out the Mondrian in their permanent collection!)

But best of all, it's FREE!!!

So why not make an evening of it one Thursday, take the Dart down to the DMA, get some dinner, some jazz and some culture!

Admission again, is free every Thursday from 5-9pm. Below are bands for April:
4/16: The Quamon Fowler Group
4/23: The John Lewis Trio

And as always, the title of this post links to the Thursday Night Live page

And this is just *expletive* ridiculous...

On Tuesday during House testimony in Austin, Republican Betty Brown suggested that Asian Americans change their names to something more "American" to use at polls so it's easier for pollers... ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?! I've got nothing!!! Check out the link in the title.

Ms. Betty's rebuttle is below, but again.... SERIOUSLY????
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/front/6365320.html

Can we fire her, please? And to think she is from a mere 15 minutes from where I live... Oh the SHAME!!!

What God gets out of strippers

In my quest for my daily smarticle, I found this story about the stripping nun. No joke!

Well, maybe a little bit of a joke... Anna Nubili of Italy used to be a stripper in Milan but after 20 years of dancing, she decided to become a nun. Talk about a change of heart! After taking a trip to the shrine of St. Francis of Assisi, she "saw something fluorescent within the clouds, a cascade of colour and felt the presence of God, the Creator." After returning back to Milan, Sister Anna told her boss at the stripclub that she had "found a new clean treasure and it was God."

Now, Sister Anna has joined the order of the Sister Workers of the Holy House of Nazareth, and will be performing in a dance group in the Jarusalem Basilica in Rome for an archbishop.

All this just goes to show-- it's never too late for a career change, and you really can do whatever you set your mind to! From a stripper to a nun.... I mean WOW!

(title links to actual story)

Hello forests, goodbye business cards

Check it out!

So next time you're out and about and need to exchange business cards but just can't seem to find any (ladies, I know how it is with the small clutches- I'm lucky if my phone fits in it!) no need to fret! Use Contxts instead of your business cards of the past!

According to their website...
Contxts is so much more than a professional social network. It's a way to make meaningful connections while out and about. Business cards are so 2007. What with the environment in shambles do you really want to be that guy who is handing out chopped up pieces of bleached trees? We here at Contxts.com think that our site will solve this problem and more. By using SMS, built into every mobile phone, you can easily and rapidly distribute your credentials. - Exchange all of your professional information with a single text message
- Keep all of your professional contacts organized in one place
- It's eco-friendly (txt messages don't kill polar bears)
- Rid yourself of "old school" business cards
- Link with other professionals

So... save the trees, make connections! The title should link to the Contxts website, but if not here's the link: http://contxts.com/

If you're feeling nervous, but in an intelligent way...

...Maybe it's time to wear a bowtie!

You've seen them around lately, I know you have. You question whether they're cool or just worn to make a statement. Well, according to the WSJ, bowties are back people! Apparently they're selling out in all colors and shapes.

Here's the link, which is complete with instructional video!
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123924141044503821.html

Also, if you're looking to start a new business, bowties anyone?

(Sorry about the links not linking and there being no pictures.... I'll get there eventually!)

Proposition 1: AKA own your own hotel

A few weeks ago I learned that my friend's (and mentor's) husband is running for the City Council in the Big D. (Hallelujah as he is a fine upstanding citizen with military and teaching experience, and is passionate about the community.... VOTE JOHN YOURSE!!) When she mentioned helping out by campaigning and handing out fliers I was a little worried I wouldn't know his stance on the upcoming issues, considering that I don't even know what the issues are. So as she was rattling off some of the things he stands for she mentioned something about a tax-payer owned hotel here in Dallas. Now maybe I had been living under a rock (or too obsessed with CNN) but I hadn't heard of this. But I figure if my tax money (or if not mine, friends of mine) is going to buy a hotel, I surely want to know what this is about!

So here's what I've gathered... Dallas is looking to build a hotel with $500 million dollars of taxpayer money. People who are all for building the hotel (or will vote AGAINST Prop 1) say that the hotel will help bring conventions to the Big D, resulting in over $200 million in city tax dollars.

Those against building the hotel (or FOR Prop 1) say that the $500 for the hotel could be better allocated elsewhere. And I can't say I don't agree! Now granted, I have a limited knowledge of financial shenanigans, and an even lesser knowledge of city planning/conventions, etc., but I have to wonder... Should we not maybe choose to spend $500 on a new homeless shelter? Or what about revitalizing Deep Ellum? If we need a hotel adjacent to the convention center, maybe the people all for that should invest in a REIT specifically for that purpose?

These are all just questions I have with no answers, but either way, there's lots to say about a publicly owned hotel. I'll keep my eyes peeled for the HPO! (Hotel Public Offering :D )

Inspiration

I've wanted to do a blog for quite a while, but figuring out what to say was particularly challenging. The whole point of these things is for people to read them, and I always have to win, so I want mine to be read!

Well, at work this week I got this idea. My friend G sent me an article about stocks, bonds, investments, etc. that was really interesting and had a great quote from Warren Buffet at the end, but I digress. At any rate, I read the article and it got me thinking about my own investment portfolio. Now, seeing as I don't have an investment portfolio just yet I don't think about my personal investments too often. But in reading this New York Times article I got some great advice from the richest man in the world (read: he's doing something right!). Mr. Buffett says to be fearful when others are greedy and greedy when others are fearful. Again, while not applicable to my current financial position, useful for life in general!

o I dubbed the article that G sent me as a "smarticle". Or-- a smart article. Something I learned from. I figured we could all benefit from a quick smarticle every now and again and thought that a blog would be the perfect way to learn something new everyday.

I'm sure this isn't an original idea (a blog where readers learn something new...groundbreaking...) but figured if nothing else, there's not another with a bit of the Mac Attack approach on life thrown in there, so there you go. This is my new blog and I hope you learn something!

And here's a link to the yahoo finance site with the NYT article I read, in case you want to learn a bit about personal finance too. (Or if nothing else, say you've read your daily smarticle...)

http://finance.yahoo.com/focus-retirement/article/106867/When-Nest-Eggs-Change-Colors?mod=fidelity-readytoretire