Monday, December 14, 2009

My theories on love

One of the best things about living with Spaghetti is that she has lots of smart, interesting things just laying around. Take, for instance, the book eat pray love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I had first spotted this book several months back on the table next to Spaghetti's chair, and thought hmmm.... I should read this before the movie comes out. So that's what I started, about a month ago. So I just picked it back up tonight while waiting for the potatoes to be done for dinner.

Within the first 5 minutes of reading, I came across this idea, which really resonates with me. Elizabeth is talking about a relationship she fell into after the demise of her marriage. She talks about how she fell into a desperate love with an actor who was playing a character from one of her short stories.

"He was playing a character I had invented, which is somewhat telling. In desperate love, it's always like this, isn't it? In desperate love, we always invent the characters of our partners, demanding that they be what we need of them, and then feeling devastated when they refuse to perform the role we created in the first place."

Maybe this idea of desperate love is a girl thing, or maybe it's a loneliness thing, but I'm finding that her summation of this desperate love and creating the partner you want, is particularly poignant at this juncture in my life. I have friends who have been in long term relationships who are now realizing that perhaps the person they're with is not the person that they've created in their heads. I mean, I know I've been there. I've fallen into this trap of a desperate love (granted, mine is one sided, but isn't most love like she's describing usually one-sided?) and have been continually disappointed when the object of my affection fails me in some silly way.

But the point to all of these musings (and yes, I'm finishing this blog post MONTHS after it began) is that Elizabeth recognizes that she creates these characters, and these fictitious people will not lead to her happiness. And I think that's worth noting. Knowing what will lead to dissatisfaction in a relationship is in itself a step closer to finding a true and lasting partnership.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Random thought of the day...

Growing up I was always told that I had a smart mouth that would eventually get me into trouble. Seriously, I can't count the number of times my dad would tell me that me smarting off was going to get me punched in the face. That a) doesn't make sense, and b) is nonproductive because the phrase merely promotes the bad behavior. Why would a smart mouth ever get me into trouble? Clearly it's smart enough to get me right back out of it. And as for the punching.... If my mouth was really smart, would it not alert me to the impending danger so I could pull a super-sweet punch-dodging move? I should think so! Also, if a child is told their mouth is smart, isn't that really like a compliment? I mean, who doesn't want to be considered smart? Just a thought...

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

7 Things

Across the blogosphere, fellow bloggers are letting their readers in on seven “little known” facts about their blog’s writers. My friend over at A List Baby(a most fabulous blog about all fantastic things for baby)tagged me to clue you in on myself! Here are some tidbits you may not know about me:

1) On past mission trips with my church I jumped off a couple of things. First I jumped off of a bridge (I say it was about 30 feet tall, but that was a guess from looking down) and into the river below in San Marcus. It was scary and fun and for that trip I earned the nickname Kerplop. On another mission trip I jumped from the roof of the house we were building onto a pile of dirt. It's amazing what you'll do when boys you're wanting to impress are doing it...

2) Like my friend Mary, I too adore Diet Coke. It is by far my favorite drink of all time. Especially when it burns my throat and makes my eyes water. That's just the best!

3) My favorite thing to do and daydream about is traveling. I have been to 12 countries (other than the US) on 3 continents: Belgium, Belize, Canada, England, France, Germany, Guatemala, Honduras, Luxembourg, Mexico, The Netherlands and Venezuela.

4) I have aspirations to get my Ph.D. either in Communications or Psychology.

5) I don't like creasing paper. It gives me the heeby jeebies and then I fear getting a paper cut. Especially construction paper. If it's construction paper, I won't even try- I'll use a pencil or ruler or something other than my finger to crease it.

6) Speaking of fears.... I have a fear of escalators. But only going down. I think it stems from my aunt ripping open her leg running back up the down escalator. I wasn't even there, but I'm always afraid I'll overstep and tumble to my demise.

7) I'm great at feigning confidence. If I don't know the answer to something (especially directions), I'll act like I know. Surprisingly, I'm usually correct!

OK- There's my 7 things. Now time to pass it on. The Dallas Morning Hughes, let's hear your 7 things!