One of the best things about living with Spaghetti is that she has lots of smart, interesting things just laying around. Take, for instance, the book eat pray love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I had first spotted this book several months back on the table next to Spaghetti's chair, and thought hmmm.... I should read this before the movie comes out. So that's what I started, about a month ago. So I just picked it back up tonight while waiting for the potatoes to be done for dinner.
Within the first 5 minutes of reading, I came across this idea, which really resonates with me. Elizabeth is talking about a relationship she fell into after the demise of her marriage. She talks about how she fell into a desperate love with an actor who was playing a character from one of her short stories.
"He was playing a character I had invented, which is somewhat telling. In desperate love, it's always like this, isn't it? In desperate love, we always invent the characters of our partners, demanding that they be what we need of them, and then feeling devastated when they refuse to perform the role we created in the first place."
Maybe this idea of desperate love is a girl thing, or maybe it's a loneliness thing, but I'm finding that her summation of this desperate love and creating the partner you want, is particularly poignant at this juncture in my life. I have friends who have been in long term relationships who are now realizing that perhaps the person they're with is not the person that they've created in their heads. I mean, I know I've been there. I've fallen into this trap of a desperate love (granted, mine is one sided, but isn't most love like she's describing usually one-sided?) and have been continually disappointed when the object of my affection fails me in some silly way.
But the point to all of these musings (and yes, I'm finishing this blog post MONTHS after it began) is that Elizabeth recognizes that she creates these characters, and these fictitious people will not lead to her happiness. And I think that's worth noting. Knowing what will lead to dissatisfaction in a relationship is in itself a step closer to finding a true and lasting partnership.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
Random thought of the day...
Growing up I was always told that I had a smart mouth that would eventually get me into trouble. Seriously, I can't count the number of times my dad would tell me that me smarting off was going to get me punched in the face. That a) doesn't make sense, and b) is nonproductive because the phrase merely promotes the bad behavior. Why would a smart mouth ever get me into trouble? Clearly it's smart enough to get me right back out of it. And as for the punching.... If my mouth was really smart, would it not alert me to the impending danger so I could pull a super-sweet punch-dodging move? I should think so! Also, if a child is told their mouth is smart, isn't that really like a compliment? I mean, who doesn't want to be considered smart? Just a thought...
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
7 Things
Across the blogosphere, fellow bloggers are letting their readers in on seven “little known” facts about their blog’s writers. My friend over at A List Baby(a most fabulous blog about all fantastic things for baby)tagged me to clue you in on myself! Here are some tidbits you may not know about me:
1) On past mission trips with my church I jumped off a couple of things. First I jumped off of a bridge (I say it was about 30 feet tall, but that was a guess from looking down) and into the river below in San Marcus. It was scary and fun and for that trip I earned the nickname Kerplop. On another mission trip I jumped from the roof of the house we were building onto a pile of dirt. It's amazing what you'll do when boys you're wanting to impress are doing it...
2) Like my friend Mary, I too adore Diet Coke. It is by far my favorite drink of all time. Especially when it burns my throat and makes my eyes water. That's just the best!
3) My favorite thing to do and daydream about is traveling. I have been to 12 countries (other than the US) on 3 continents: Belgium, Belize, Canada, England, France, Germany, Guatemala, Honduras, Luxembourg, Mexico, The Netherlands and Venezuela.
4) I have aspirations to get my Ph.D. either in Communications or Psychology.
5) I don't like creasing paper. It gives me the heeby jeebies and then I fear getting a paper cut. Especially construction paper. If it's construction paper, I won't even try- I'll use a pencil or ruler or something other than my finger to crease it.
6) Speaking of fears.... I have a fear of escalators. But only going down. I think it stems from my aunt ripping open her leg running back up the down escalator. I wasn't even there, but I'm always afraid I'll overstep and tumble to my demise.
7) I'm great at feigning confidence. If I don't know the answer to something (especially directions), I'll act like I know. Surprisingly, I'm usually correct!
OK- There's my 7 things. Now time to pass it on. The Dallas Morning Hughes, let's hear your 7 things!
1) On past mission trips with my church I jumped off a couple of things. First I jumped off of a bridge (I say it was about 30 feet tall, but that was a guess from looking down) and into the river below in San Marcus. It was scary and fun and for that trip I earned the nickname Kerplop. On another mission trip I jumped from the roof of the house we were building onto a pile of dirt. It's amazing what you'll do when boys you're wanting to impress are doing it...
2) Like my friend Mary, I too adore Diet Coke. It is by far my favorite drink of all time. Especially when it burns my throat and makes my eyes water. That's just the best!
3) My favorite thing to do and daydream about is traveling. I have been to 12 countries (other than the US) on 3 continents: Belgium, Belize, Canada, England, France, Germany, Guatemala, Honduras, Luxembourg, Mexico, The Netherlands and Venezuela.
4) I have aspirations to get my Ph.D. either in Communications or Psychology.
5) I don't like creasing paper. It gives me the heeby jeebies and then I fear getting a paper cut. Especially construction paper. If it's construction paper, I won't even try- I'll use a pencil or ruler or something other than my finger to crease it.
6) Speaking of fears.... I have a fear of escalators. But only going down. I think it stems from my aunt ripping open her leg running back up the down escalator. I wasn't even there, but I'm always afraid I'll overstep and tumble to my demise.
7) I'm great at feigning confidence. If I don't know the answer to something (especially directions), I'll act like I know. Surprisingly, I'm usually correct!
OK- There's my 7 things. Now time to pass it on. The Dallas Morning Hughes, let's hear your 7 things!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Movie Reviews!!
With all the big fall movies coming out, I've seen several articles on what's creating Oscar Buzz. My list of Oscar-worthy movies to see is made (as well as my non-oscar, but I want to see anyway list)and I'm slowly making my way to the theaters to space out the contenders for favorite movie of 2009 (let's be honest... it's going to go to New Moon, what with my ridiculous 14-year-old self re-emerging with a vengeance!) But here's the two movies I've seen in the last week and what I think...
So I actually had great expectations for this movie. I LOVED The Day After Tomorrow but who can really blame me... Jake Gyllenhaal was in it... but that's neither here nor there. I liked that disaster film. It had enough extra oomph in the plotline so that when the end of the world got to be too much, or a bit cheesy, I could refocus onto the relationship side of the movie. 2012 had none of that. It was seriously ridiculous, I'm sad to say. So if you don't know what it's about (then I don't know how we're friends and you're reading this because I'm CLEARLY a movie fanatic...) let me give you a brief synopsis. It's 12/21/2012 (my 29th birthday!! EEPS!!) and the end of the world predicted by the Mayans or Incas or someone back in the day is upon us. So when the tectonic plates start shifting there's earthquakes, fire, doom and gloom. Basically, the perfect plot for some amazing stunts and graphic stuff. And I'll admit that I thought the graphics were pretty cool. At this one point, Santa Monica is sliding into the ocean, and I thought it looked really realistic. But that's about all that was realistic and awesome about the movie. The acting was ok, but it was the writing that I just couldn't get over, in addition to some cheesy camera angles that I probably wouldn't have chosen. Instead of adding to the heart of the film, some of the lines were literally laughable (Emily and I were cracking up). Also there was a particular camera angle used when someone was falling off something and it just cracked me up! This guy is plummeting to his demise, and I'm cracking up because the camera is falling with him, a close-up on his face, while his mouth is just opened in a wide "O" of shock.
I guess there's really not much more to say, other than I wish I hadn't spent my $5 on the Saturday matinee. It was amusing, yes, but probably the biggest movie disappointment, and certainly not worth all the hype for the last few months.
Luckily, my faith in film was restored last night when I went to see the long-awaited Precious.
Precious is about a 16 year old girl in Harlem in 1987 who lives with an abusive mother and is pregnant for the 2nd time by her father. This is probably one of the most intensely heartbreaking films I've ever seen. I can't even think of a movie where I felt remotely the same after watching. I guess the closest thing I can think of is how I felt at the end of Atonement. That was another film that was just heartbreaking (I honestly can't think of another word to describe it). The cinematography was more raw in this film, much less of a sweeping epic look like Atonement, or other high budget films, but it was perfect for the story. The angles and movement of the cameras just added to the rawness of the film. Even the music was an amazing fit. I would have never thought to include the upbeat music that was scattered throughout the film, but it just helps to add a depth to the main character, Precious, that was almost hard to believe existed after seeing the desolate, abusive life she had.
This brings me to the actors. I mean, wow. There has been a lot of hype and Oscar buzz already, and with good reason. Every actor was phenomenal, but I absolutely cannot get over Mo'Nique. I've seen her on talk shows and she's bubbly and personable, but in this film she was an absolute monster. And she was believable, and unrecognizable. For her to deliver the verbal and physical abuse she inflicted upon her daughter was hard to watch, and I can't fathom having to actually live it while in character. This is the first time I have ever had a physical reaction to a film. I wanted to puke in disgust a couple of times, while there were several other scenes that of course had me tearing up. The climactic ending was almost too much to watch.
The film does have a hopeful ending, which is nice after such an emotionally draining couple of hours. So far, this is my favorite film of the year.
More movies to come (if I remember!) Let me know if you've seen either of these and if you agree or disagree with me.
So I actually had great expectations for this movie. I LOVED The Day After Tomorrow but who can really blame me... Jake Gyllenhaal was in it... but that's neither here nor there. I liked that disaster film. It had enough extra oomph in the plotline so that when the end of the world got to be too much, or a bit cheesy, I could refocus onto the relationship side of the movie. 2012 had none of that. It was seriously ridiculous, I'm sad to say. So if you don't know what it's about (then I don't know how we're friends and you're reading this because I'm CLEARLY a movie fanatic...) let me give you a brief synopsis. It's 12/21/2012 (my 29th birthday!! EEPS!!) and the end of the world predicted by the Mayans or Incas or someone back in the day is upon us. So when the tectonic plates start shifting there's earthquakes, fire, doom and gloom. Basically, the perfect plot for some amazing stunts and graphic stuff. And I'll admit that I thought the graphics were pretty cool. At this one point, Santa Monica is sliding into the ocean, and I thought it looked really realistic. But that's about all that was realistic and awesome about the movie. The acting was ok, but it was the writing that I just couldn't get over, in addition to some cheesy camera angles that I probably wouldn't have chosen. Instead of adding to the heart of the film, some of the lines were literally laughable (Emily and I were cracking up). Also there was a particular camera angle used when someone was falling off something and it just cracked me up! This guy is plummeting to his demise, and I'm cracking up because the camera is falling with him, a close-up on his face, while his mouth is just opened in a wide "O" of shock.
I guess there's really not much more to say, other than I wish I hadn't spent my $5 on the Saturday matinee. It was amusing, yes, but probably the biggest movie disappointment, and certainly not worth all the hype for the last few months.
Luckily, my faith in film was restored last night when I went to see the long-awaited Precious.
Precious is about a 16 year old girl in Harlem in 1987 who lives with an abusive mother and is pregnant for the 2nd time by her father. This is probably one of the most intensely heartbreaking films I've ever seen. I can't even think of a movie where I felt remotely the same after watching. I guess the closest thing I can think of is how I felt at the end of Atonement. That was another film that was just heartbreaking (I honestly can't think of another word to describe it). The cinematography was more raw in this film, much less of a sweeping epic look like Atonement, or other high budget films, but it was perfect for the story. The angles and movement of the cameras just added to the rawness of the film. Even the music was an amazing fit. I would have never thought to include the upbeat music that was scattered throughout the film, but it just helps to add a depth to the main character, Precious, that was almost hard to believe existed after seeing the desolate, abusive life she had.
This brings me to the actors. I mean, wow. There has been a lot of hype and Oscar buzz already, and with good reason. Every actor was phenomenal, but I absolutely cannot get over Mo'Nique. I've seen her on talk shows and she's bubbly and personable, but in this film she was an absolute monster. And she was believable, and unrecognizable. For her to deliver the verbal and physical abuse she inflicted upon her daughter was hard to watch, and I can't fathom having to actually live it while in character. This is the first time I have ever had a physical reaction to a film. I wanted to puke in disgust a couple of times, while there were several other scenes that of course had me tearing up. The climactic ending was almost too much to watch.
The film does have a hopeful ending, which is nice after such an emotionally draining couple of hours. So far, this is my favorite film of the year.
More movies to come (if I remember!) Let me know if you've seen either of these and if you agree or disagree with me.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Dad Woulds
At lunch the other day I was sitting with one of my best friends from college and somehow we began discussing my father. I have no idea how it came about, but knowing myself, it was probably completely NOT where either of us expected the conversation to end up. Whether the conversation was planned or not, it sparked some questions that I've since been thinking about.
Just in case you guys didn't know, my father died when I was in high school. He had cancer for several years, and, to be honest, his death wasn't unexpected. What has been unexpected for me, however, are the questions that are just posing themselves eight years after his death.
Like I said, my dad died when I was in high school. It was spring of junior year, to be exact. The months following his death I experienced all the emotions that go along with losing a loved one, specifically someone you were extra close to. I was always a daddy's girl growing up, and it's just now that I'm realizing how little I actually know about my father.
Back to the conversation with my friend... In that conversation I realized that I never really knew my father. No... That's not true.... I never really knew Bob. And I think, looking back, this is probably the hardest part of losing a parent at a fairly young age. You see, I was old enough to know my dad and I still remember things about him (amazingly, because I have a TERRIBLE memory!) but I only remember him in his role as my father. Of course I knew about his personality, which I believe I inherited, but I didn't ever get to know him as a person. And I think I'm just now realizing what I'm missing out on.
I have always thought to myself, usually after making a bad joke, oh.... dad would have said that. Or after singing in the Meyerson last week, I thought, oh.... dad would be proud and would have enjoyed listening to that. These little dad woulds don't really make me sad anymore, it's just a part of life. But this last week, I've really been in tune with my "dad woulds" and have been wondering, well, would he really? And the answer is, I honestly have no idea! But I like to think the image I have of my dad is the right one.
I guess the moral of this story (because every story indeed has a moral) is that you can never understand or know a person based on one facet of their personality. As if that's a new idea that we DIDN'T learn from the idea of stereotypes... But really. You absolutely cannot put people in a box with a clean label on their personality type, how they would respond in situations, etc. Because really, at the end of the day, we have no idea! I have no idea about the multiple facets of my dad's personality I didn't get to experience as a kid, and I'm just now realizing how much I miss learning that.
Just in case you guys didn't know, my father died when I was in high school. He had cancer for several years, and, to be honest, his death wasn't unexpected. What has been unexpected for me, however, are the questions that are just posing themselves eight years after his death.
Like I said, my dad died when I was in high school. It was spring of junior year, to be exact. The months following his death I experienced all the emotions that go along with losing a loved one, specifically someone you were extra close to. I was always a daddy's girl growing up, and it's just now that I'm realizing how little I actually know about my father.
Back to the conversation with my friend... In that conversation I realized that I never really knew my father. No... That's not true.... I never really knew Bob. And I think, looking back, this is probably the hardest part of losing a parent at a fairly young age. You see, I was old enough to know my dad and I still remember things about him (amazingly, because I have a TERRIBLE memory!) but I only remember him in his role as my father. Of course I knew about his personality, which I believe I inherited, but I didn't ever get to know him as a person. And I think I'm just now realizing what I'm missing out on.
I have always thought to myself, usually after making a bad joke, oh.... dad would have said that. Or after singing in the Meyerson last week, I thought, oh.... dad would be proud and would have enjoyed listening to that. These little dad woulds don't really make me sad anymore, it's just a part of life. But this last week, I've really been in tune with my "dad woulds" and have been wondering, well, would he really? And the answer is, I honestly have no idea! But I like to think the image I have of my dad is the right one.
I guess the moral of this story (because every story indeed has a moral) is that you can never understand or know a person based on one facet of their personality. As if that's a new idea that we DIDN'T learn from the idea of stereotypes... But really. You absolutely cannot put people in a box with a clean label on their personality type, how they would respond in situations, etc. Because really, at the end of the day, we have no idea! I have no idea about the multiple facets of my dad's personality I didn't get to experience as a kid, and I'm just now realizing how much I miss learning that.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Warning: going political
No....not political... humanitarian.
As an avid reader of CNN.com, I'm always up to date with the latest news. Lately, I've also started to include some NPR and talks with Spaghetti (my grandmother) to my current events knowledge. While I'm for a public healthcare option, I can understand that not everybody has the same sentiment. A public option is reminiscent of socialism, and dammit, we're a democracy. I understand. I understand that public-option opponents may be scared of helping those who refuse to help themselves. I understand that there are those concerned that a public option will increase the cost, or lower the standards of their own healthcare. Despite being a by-the-book democrat, I get these concerns.
What I can't get over, however, is that the end result of all our fears lead to people dying. People that could have easily been treated are dying because they are less fortunate than people like myself. At the end of the day, that is the result, and I can't get over that.
And the scary thing is, this mentality... the look out for yourself and your own interests, is carrying over to every aspect of our lives. I have to ask, what happened to the idea that you're only as strong as your weakest link? I honestly think it's pitiful that, for the most part, a majority of us can't look at the big picture. America is the sum of her parts, and when we don't care for all of our parts, we're just running like a squeaky, broken-down machine. We're all better than that!
This mentality that I speak of (which inspired this soap-box rant) is especially evident in morgues in Detroit and even in LA. I read an article on CNN that tells about bodies piling up in a Detroit morgue because family members can't scrape together the exorbitant amount for a funeral or for cremation. The deceased just "hang-out" in the morgue's freezer because they have nowhere else to go. Picture that a loved one has just passed away. Think of the grief and hardship you will go through, emotionally. Now imagine that you are unable to even claim your loved one and give him a proper burial. As sorrowful as the thought may be, that's many people's realities.
Let me just reiterate, that I completely understand and up until this summer have declared myself economically conservative. But where is the compassion and the humanity? How can I, with so much, NOT care for a fellow-human being who can't afford to bury his mother? It is situations like these that call out to us as humans. Not as democrats or republicans. Not as the rich or poor. Not as white, black, asian, or whatever. This story should affect us as humanitarians. Our hearts should go out to the people who cannot afford to bury their loved-ones, and as a society we need to be inclined to help those who are suffering, in whatever way possible.
The point of this rant, and yes, I'll agree that's what it is, is not to change your mind on healthcare, or any number of other political beliefs. It is, however, to remind you that you are human, and we are a community. We live together in a society that will flourish if everybody looks out for each other. To quote wise Jack from Lost.... "Live together, or die alone." I urge everybody to stop and think how they can contribute to society that has given them so much- from National Parks, to public schooling, to public hospitals. Stop and think what you're talented at, and then see what you can do to share that for the betterment of others. If we all did that, wouldn't the world be a much better place?
As an avid reader of CNN.com, I'm always up to date with the latest news. Lately, I've also started to include some NPR and talks with Spaghetti (my grandmother) to my current events knowledge. While I'm for a public healthcare option, I can understand that not everybody has the same sentiment. A public option is reminiscent of socialism, and dammit, we're a democracy. I understand. I understand that public-option opponents may be scared of helping those who refuse to help themselves. I understand that there are those concerned that a public option will increase the cost, or lower the standards of their own healthcare. Despite being a by-the-book democrat, I get these concerns.
What I can't get over, however, is that the end result of all our fears lead to people dying. People that could have easily been treated are dying because they are less fortunate than people like myself. At the end of the day, that is the result, and I can't get over that.
And the scary thing is, this mentality... the look out for yourself and your own interests, is carrying over to every aspect of our lives. I have to ask, what happened to the idea that you're only as strong as your weakest link? I honestly think it's pitiful that, for the most part, a majority of us can't look at the big picture. America is the sum of her parts, and when we don't care for all of our parts, we're just running like a squeaky, broken-down machine. We're all better than that!
This mentality that I speak of (which inspired this soap-box rant) is especially evident in morgues in Detroit and even in LA. I read an article on CNN that tells about bodies piling up in a Detroit morgue because family members can't scrape together the exorbitant amount for a funeral or for cremation. The deceased just "hang-out" in the morgue's freezer because they have nowhere else to go. Picture that a loved one has just passed away. Think of the grief and hardship you will go through, emotionally. Now imagine that you are unable to even claim your loved one and give him a proper burial. As sorrowful as the thought may be, that's many people's realities.
Let me just reiterate, that I completely understand and up until this summer have declared myself economically conservative. But where is the compassion and the humanity? How can I, with so much, NOT care for a fellow-human being who can't afford to bury his mother? It is situations like these that call out to us as humans. Not as democrats or republicans. Not as the rich or poor. Not as white, black, asian, or whatever. This story should affect us as humanitarians. Our hearts should go out to the people who cannot afford to bury their loved-ones, and as a society we need to be inclined to help those who are suffering, in whatever way possible.
The point of this rant, and yes, I'll agree that's what it is, is not to change your mind on healthcare, or any number of other political beliefs. It is, however, to remind you that you are human, and we are a community. We live together in a society that will flourish if everybody looks out for each other. To quote wise Jack from Lost.... "Live together, or die alone." I urge everybody to stop and think how they can contribute to society that has given them so much- from National Parks, to public schooling, to public hospitals. Stop and think what you're talented at, and then see what you can do to share that for the betterment of others. If we all did that, wouldn't the world be a much better place?
Friday, September 4, 2009
How much do you like you?
Speaking of books.... I'm reading (yes, still...) The Narcissism Epidimic. I got to the section today about measuring narcissism, and I thought I'd be off the charts! But lo and behold, I'm not nearly as full of myself as I thought! Take this quiz, and see how much you love you!
In each of the following pairs, choose the one that you MOST AGREE with.
1) A. The thought of ruling the world frightens the hell out of me.
B. If I ruled the world it would be a much better place.
2) A. I prefer to blen in with the crowd.
B. I like to be the center of attention.
3) A. I can live my life any way I want to.
B. People can't always live their lives in terms of what they want.
4) A. I don't particuloarly like to show off my body.
B. I like to show off my body.
5) A. I will never be satisfied until I get all that I deserve.
B. I will take my satisfactions as they come.
6) A. I am no better or no worse than most people.
B. I think I am a special person.
7) A. I find it easy to panipulate people.
B. I don't like it when I find myself manipulating people.
8) A. I try not to be a show-off.
B. I will usually show off if I get the chance.
9) A. I am much like everybody else.
B. I am an extraordinary person.
10) A. I like having authority over other people.
B. I don't mind following orders.
SCORING
Questions 3, 5, 7, and 10: Give yourself 1 point if you answered A.
Questions 1, 2, 4, 6, 8, and 9: Give yourself 1 point if you answered B.
0-3 points: You have scored low in narcissism
4-5 points: You have scored about the same in narcissism as the average college student. This is a slightly above-average score for someone older than 40.
6-7 points: You have scored above average in narcissism.
8-10 points: You have scored significantly above average in narcissism.
So.... how'd you score???
In each of the following pairs, choose the one that you MOST AGREE with.
1) A. The thought of ruling the world frightens the hell out of me.
B. If I ruled the world it would be a much better place.
2) A. I prefer to blen in with the crowd.
B. I like to be the center of attention.
3) A. I can live my life any way I want to.
B. People can't always live their lives in terms of what they want.
4) A. I don't particuloarly like to show off my body.
B. I like to show off my body.
5) A. I will never be satisfied until I get all that I deserve.
B. I will take my satisfactions as they come.
6) A. I am no better or no worse than most people.
B. I think I am a special person.
7) A. I find it easy to panipulate people.
B. I don't like it when I find myself manipulating people.
8) A. I try not to be a show-off.
B. I will usually show off if I get the chance.
9) A. I am much like everybody else.
B. I am an extraordinary person.
10) A. I like having authority over other people.
B. I don't mind following orders.
SCORING
Questions 3, 5, 7, and 10: Give yourself 1 point if you answered A.
Questions 1, 2, 4, 6, 8, and 9: Give yourself 1 point if you answered B.
0-3 points: You have scored low in narcissism
4-5 points: You have scored about the same in narcissism as the average college student. This is a slightly above-average score for someone older than 40.
6-7 points: You have scored above average in narcissism.
8-10 points: You have scored significantly above average in narcissism.
So.... how'd you score???
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