This goes out to all the single ladies out there.... all 2 of you you read this...
You know when you're out at a bar, and the skeezy cheesball in the corner is eying you up and down and there's no chance in hell that he'll ever have a shot with you? And yet in his drunken stupor, there's no question that it's gonna happen? Well... enter Ms. Taken. The website sells forreal looking engagement rings that easily slip in and out of their carrying-case keychain. So when you give Mr. Creepazoid the finger he'll see your bling and move on! Good news is, if Mr. Right or Mr. Right-for-right-now comes along, just slip the ring back into your keychain and he'll never know the difference!
If nothing else, at least check out the HILARIOUS "Puke in my mouth" response to the also hilarious "Jizz in my pants" video!!!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
The perks of being in a wreck...
Unfortunately this won't make you any smarter, but maybe it'll help next time you crash...
This morning I rear-ended a Benz... It was bad... Bad as in my car is totaled, airbags, and dangling headlights bad... Luckily, though, we were both OK other than some soreness and bruises.
After digesting it all, though, I've come to realize there are some perks to wrecking your car.
1)Get to be thanksgiving comfy w/undone button (presses on bruise and hurts like whoa)
2)Have most spectacularly blue (I'd say azure) bruise ever known to man running diagonally across your stomach!
3)Get to see what it's like to stand up and sit down like a prego woman, while keeping the torso flat/still so as not to disturb azure bruise
4)Can now say I've ridden in the back of a cop car! (By the way, they don't have real seats! Only plastic nasty chair things and no leg room)I mean, seriously..... kinda interesting!
5) Get a new car
6) Got to be the cause of flares, which are like fire works, which I LOVE
I dont know why I don't rear end someone every day, in fact!
This morning I rear-ended a Benz... It was bad... Bad as in my car is totaled, airbags, and dangling headlights bad... Luckily, though, we were both OK other than some soreness and bruises.
After digesting it all, though, I've come to realize there are some perks to wrecking your car.
1)Get to be thanksgiving comfy w/undone button (presses on bruise and hurts like whoa)
2)Have most spectacularly blue (I'd say azure) bruise ever known to man running diagonally across your stomach!
3)Get to see what it's like to stand up and sit down like a prego woman, while keeping the torso flat/still so as not to disturb azure bruise
4)Can now say I've ridden in the back of a cop car! (By the way, they don't have real seats! Only plastic nasty chair things and no leg room)I mean, seriously..... kinda interesting!
5) Get a new car
6) Got to be the cause of flares, which are like fire works, which I LOVE
I dont know why I don't rear end someone every day, in fact!
Friday, May 1, 2009
Anyone want a free comic book??
For some reason I got the brilliant idea yesterday that I should repeat my college experience of going to see X-Men at midnight.... While seeing the 2nd X-Men movie in Denton (pronounced di'in) was surrounded by much hype (a roach crawling on my chair, the crazy Roman Rebels crew from whatever dorm I lived in, and the general excitement of something to actually do in the middle of the night other than drive through Jack-in-the-box backwards), I was worried that this experience would end up being lack-luster and fall quite short of my Di'in experience.
But I was wrong- rare, I know.... And Wolverine was SOOOOO worth tolerating the ignoramuses of Mesquite! The evening was already hyped-up thanks to a good friend, a bottle of wine, and dining across the patio from Ms. Kim Kardashian and crew. The movie was action-packed, and filled with some nice eye candy that made it worth the 3.5 hours of sleep I got last night.
Even better, though, is that the fun that surrounds the movie continues through tomorrow (Saturday 5/2) at local comic book stores. "In an effort to attract new readers, more than 2,000 comic shops are offering free comics, ranging from Wolverine and The Avengers from Marvel to a preview of DC Comics' "Blackest Night" event in Green Lantern" in the 8th annual free comic book day!
So if you love you some comics, or just want to practice your recessionista skills, check out the below site to find a free comic book near you, and then go see Wolverine- it's well worth it!
freecomicbookday.com
But I was wrong- rare, I know.... And Wolverine was SOOOOO worth tolerating the ignoramuses of Mesquite! The evening was already hyped-up thanks to a good friend, a bottle of wine, and dining across the patio from Ms. Kim Kardashian and crew. The movie was action-packed, and filled with some nice eye candy that made it worth the 3.5 hours of sleep I got last night.
Even better, though, is that the fun that surrounds the movie continues through tomorrow (Saturday 5/2) at local comic book stores. "In an effort to attract new readers, more than 2,000 comic shops are offering free comics, ranging from Wolverine and The Avengers from Marvel to a preview of DC Comics' "Blackest Night" event in Green Lantern" in the 8th annual free comic book day!
So if you love you some comics, or just want to practice your recessionista skills, check out the below site to find a free comic book near you, and then go see Wolverine- it's well worth it!
freecomicbookday.com
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Stella vs. the DDP
I have a plant at the office names Stella.
So today she was looking a little dry and I wondered if she would enjoy yesterday's leftover Diet Dr. Pepper. My colleagues told me that it would be MURDER if I infused her soil with some of the good Dr. I disagree and decided to do a little research....
The effects of diet soda on potted plants:
According to wiki answers, The preservatives in diet coke actually preserve the plant and help it grow.
According to the 2006 science fair project of a Ms. Natalie M. Garcia, "the Coca-Cola plants died quicker, grew smaller, and did not grow more leaves. The plants that were given water stayed about the same height and grew a few more leaves. The plants that were given nothing ended up dying very quickly and they dried up very quickly. Also Coca-Cola causes for a foul odor to develop in the soil of the plants and for flies and ants to come and invade the plants.
As you can tell, my findings are inconclusive. If I notice a change in Stella over the next few weeks, I'll keep you posted.
Until then, I stand by wiki answers, and suspect that Stella will be completely fine and continue her happy existence on the corner of my desk. (And sometimes on the windowsill)
So today she was looking a little dry and I wondered if she would enjoy yesterday's leftover Diet Dr. Pepper. My colleagues told me that it would be MURDER if I infused her soil with some of the good Dr. I disagree and decided to do a little research....
The effects of diet soda on potted plants:
According to wiki answers, The preservatives in diet coke actually preserve the plant and help it grow.
According to the 2006 science fair project of a Ms. Natalie M. Garcia, "the Coca-Cola plants died quicker, grew smaller, and did not grow more leaves. The plants that were given water stayed about the same height and grew a few more leaves. The plants that were given nothing ended up dying very quickly and they dried up very quickly. Also Coca-Cola causes for a foul odor to develop in the soil of the plants and for flies and ants to come and invade the plants.
As you can tell, my findings are inconclusive. If I notice a change in Stella over the next few weeks, I'll keep you posted.
Until then, I stand by wiki answers, and suspect that Stella will be completely fine and continue her happy existence on the corner of my desk. (And sometimes on the windowsill)
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
If you regularly cut the cheese...
... then check out this super cool slate cheese plate!
How many parties have you hosted/gone to where you needed to have the names of 5 seemingly discernible cheeses on the tip of your tongue? One of my fave blogs, The Frisky, has a solution.... A cheese plate chalkboard!
This super cute version by VivaTerra (linked in the title) comes with two little mousy knives, and is $69.
If that's a bit steep for you, though, make your own cheaper version with a slate place mat from Crate & Barrel (varying sizes available, chalk sold seperately!). It's the same look for less than half the cost!
How many parties have you hosted/gone to where you needed to have the names of 5 seemingly discernible cheeses on the tip of your tongue? One of my fave blogs, The Frisky, has a solution.... A cheese plate chalkboard!
This super cute version by VivaTerra (linked in the title) comes with two little mousy knives, and is $69.
If that's a bit steep for you, though, make your own cheaper version with a slate place mat from Crate & Barrel (varying sizes available, chalk sold seperately!). It's the same look for less than half the cost!
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Questions I've had today, and their answers
Question: Why does only one cranberry float to the top of my most delictable white Zaza cosmo?
Answer: A slit cut in one side of the cranberry causes the cranberry to float with the slit side on top.
Question: What do the following organs do? Organs in question: appendix, gallbladder, spleen.(Obviously it's not important if they can all be removed..."
Answer: Appendix: "the appendix is traditionally thought to have no function in the human body. However, new studies propose that the appendix may produce and protect bacteria that are beneficial in the function of the human colon"
Gallbladder: "The gallbladder stores bile, which is released when food containing fat enters the digestive tract, stimulating the secretion" of digestive juice
Spleen: destruction of redundant red blood cells, and holds a reservoir of blood
Question: What does Nerf stand for?
Answer: Non-expanding recreational foam
Question: What is Port wine?
Answer: wine + brandy
Hope you learned something new.... I surely did!
Answer: A slit cut in one side of the cranberry causes the cranberry to float with the slit side on top.
Question: What do the following organs do? Organs in question: appendix, gallbladder, spleen.(Obviously it's not important if they can all be removed..."
Answer: Appendix: "the appendix is traditionally thought to have no function in the human body. However, new studies propose that the appendix may produce and protect bacteria that are beneficial in the function of the human colon"
Gallbladder: "The gallbladder stores bile, which is released when food containing fat enters the digestive tract, stimulating the secretion" of digestive juice
Spleen: destruction of redundant red blood cells, and holds a reservoir of blood
Question: What does Nerf stand for?
Answer: Non-expanding recreational foam
Question: What is Port wine?
Answer: wine + brandy
Hope you learned something new.... I surely did!
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Poof... be gone, odor!
This is going to be a little on the....earthy side, but whatev!
Have you ever had those days when your stomach's just not agreeing with you and you're suffering from some mighty pooty booty (read: the runs)?? Well, you certainly can't stay home from work just because you partied a little too hard the night before.
Well, now there's a solution to your public bathroom pooty-booty dilemmas.
"Poof it! Just a few drops of this liquid deodorizer in the toilet water and a translucent seal traps your odors in the water, releasing a refreshing scent of Japanese Mint to fill the air! Created for the sophisticated and bathroom conscious, Poof is packaged in an appealing yet discreet bottle that easily slips into your purse, pocket, or the palm of your hand.
One drop of Poof will forever change the way you do your business!"
Yeah, you read it! Straight from the Poof Drops website. And I ask, who WOULDN'T benefit from a translucent odor seal?
Title links to poofdrops website.
Have you ever had those days when your stomach's just not agreeing with you and you're suffering from some mighty pooty booty (read: the runs)?? Well, you certainly can't stay home from work just because you partied a little too hard the night before.
Well, now there's a solution to your public bathroom pooty-booty dilemmas.
"Poof it! Just a few drops of this liquid deodorizer in the toilet water and a translucent seal traps your odors in the water, releasing a refreshing scent of Japanese Mint to fill the air! Created for the sophisticated and bathroom conscious, Poof is packaged in an appealing yet discreet bottle that easily slips into your purse, pocket, or the palm of your hand.
One drop of Poof will forever change the way you do your business!"
Yeah, you read it! Straight from the Poof Drops website. And I ask, who WOULDN'T benefit from a translucent odor seal?
Title links to poofdrops website.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)