Wednesday, August 18, 2010

I live in Legally Blonde, the movie

Well, at least I did today for a few minutes. So I was in the store this evening and we had scheduled a pick-up from UPS. Usually we have the same old UPS guy. He's perfectly nice and we've chatted for a bit, but he's not my cup of tea. He's no Mr. Yes-please, to put it bluntly. (But then again, not many people are. Also, yesterday I failed to mention that Mr. Yes-please was awkwardly buying pants with a pair he owned on his arm, then he bought a second pair, and refused a bag or to hang it up. Perhaps picking up pants on the way to work? wonder what happened to the originals... Irrelevant either way.)

So yes. UPS. We had a pick-up today since some of our spring products are going back to the warehouse to make room for the new fall line. It's always nice to have a pick-up because there's guaranteed interaction on slow nights (which tonight was). But tonight I was in for a treat!! The OTHER UPS guy came to pick up our boxes. The OTHER guy is the hot guy. Similar to Mr. Yes-please, he too could be a movie star! Even my boss admitted that when she passed him in the mall she had to do the see-you-then-promptly-look-down-because-your-beauty-overwhelms-me-a-bit-head-on move.

Yes, I had to look away too, but not after cooly chatting with him as he made small talk and carried the boxes easily on his shoulder. The boxes were filled with old product. Heavy when in numbers product. And Mr. M (as in mmmmmmm!) just picked those boxes up like he was lifting a feather.

But the whole point of this is not to prove that I'm blasted boy-crazy this week, but that I had to seriously contain myself from knocking a pen on the floor, seductively walking over to it in my 4" wedges and saying "WHOOPS" while peering through my abnormally awesome lashes up at Mr. M. Ladies, you all know where my head's at. The Bend-N-Snap. It almost made an appearance. I am wearing my skinniest jean/leggings today. PRIME bend-n-snap attire. I can see it now. He would reach for the pen. I would say, "Ooh.... I've got it" Again, peering through the Dior coated amazingness that fringes my eyes. After a little wink I would extend my right leg in front of me (quite like a prancing horse, come to think of it) until my knee was flattened out, and I would slowly, laboriously bend at the waist to pick up the pen. Arm slowly reaching down the length of my leg, drawing attention to my heels and muscular calf.

He would be riveted as I slowly clasped the pen between my fairly well-maintained manicured fingers. Just when I had his attention, I would quickly upright myself, flashing my Cali-beach waved 'do that I chose today, in an irresistible way where the blonde tendrils would land a bit mussed, as if I've just had a romp in the sheets.

And then I'd fall over from standing up too fast and the moment would be over.

But I feel like this might be the way to start a story of how we met. The Bend-n-snap... works every time! If you want to look a fool! If he comes back, I might give it a go, just to see how someone would react to this... EEPS! Wish me luck and courage, because I feel like this could be the start of a beautiful friendship... based on us laughing at me being a total dork weirdo!

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